“Mamma!!! Enough is Enough. Why you are irritating me? You know it very well, I will not be able to do it.”
“I know, you just wanted to trouble me. You wanted people to laugh at me again. You love seeing me falling again and again. I hate you. You are a bad mother. You love everyone making fun of me, criticizing me, and troubling me. You go, go away from me. Let me be in peace, I do not want to see your face,” I was shouting in my anger at my mother.
“Fine!!! Now you do not want to understand and don’t want to learn it, It’s better we sell the bike, Right?. And as it is the brand new bike at 20% less it will be sold,” replied my mother.
“Why? why you want to sell it. It is a new bike.”
“Why not sell it? What is the use of keeping it idle? You have first only given up. You don’t want to ride it, You don’t want to learn it, like a loser you are sitting here. Instead of going out and practicing you are crying here.”
“Now, you only tell why should we keep it?” Questioned my mother.
Her words were like a tight slap on my face.
I still remember that awful day. It was the day of my two-wheeler driving license exam day. When my father, looking at my scared face, consoled me.
“Don’t worry, I just spoke to that RTO officer. He’s my friend, just ride straight. I will give him a little money, and you will get your license. Ok, don’t take tension.”
You know, my father is the best father in the world. He’s the kind of person who never lets me do anything by myself; instead, he will do anything and everything for me. He cannot see his children suffering or taking a bit of tension. He makes my life as easy as possible to live. I feel my life without him is impossible.
“Ok, Papa.”
I replied to him calmly, but somewhere I was tense and nervous, might be the crowd around me was making me nervous, or I had already sensed that I would not be able to clear this exam. I don’t know what was the reason, but I was damn nervous. I felt as if I was going to faint at any moment.
“Arey RTO officer is coming, let’s make a queue,” Someone in the crowd screamed. And these words freaked me out. I started trembling. My heartbeat was ready to break the Usain Bolt record. My breathing was lightning fast. I was sweating and I could feel my nervousness in my trembling fingers. I had never felt this weak and tired.
In a flurry, I started my lovely beautiful Activa 3G bike engine and the second moment I landed on the ground. I was on the ground with my bike on my leg.
I fell. And that was my first embarrassing moment of that day.
Hearing my scream, along with my father, other people ran towards me. Someone lifted my bike and my father lifted me.
One of the ladies handed me a bottle of water. Some people came to help me, encouraged me, and some were standing far away, smiling at me with helplessness.
It is said when the day is bad, everything becomes bad. Unfortunately, the RTO officer, tall, bespectacled and owlish to behold, neat in appearance, and over forty. He had long mustaches and a big belly, saw me falling, didn’t say anything to me, but this incident was not a good sign for me.
The next moment the RTO officer turned to his vehicle, took out his big fat file and started to read out names, and signaled to stand in a queue as per the order. I was the 10th in the queue.
He called out the first person and instructed him to make figure 8 in a particular area.
“Wow, it’s so nice, this is so simple. I will make it,” looking at the first person, a thought swirled in my mind.
The second guy did it.
Third also did it.
And now it was my turn.
You know that sometimes something seems so easy to see, but in reality, it isn’t.
I felt the same way, I would have done it with as much simplicity as others had done. And as you know, I am an Engineer. As per my regular practice I had already calculated the radius and diameter of the figure 8 in my brain. But as soon as I turned on my bike, gave race, I forgot to calculate the wind, velocity, speed, and main point my halting time. All my calculations went in vain. Instead, my bike went straight towards the RTO officer. Luckily he moved an inch or else he would have landed in the hospital instead of landing in his home.
Then & that moment only he rejected me. Asked me to learn and come again for the second trial after 6 months. Here my father’s little corruption also could not worked for me.
This was the second time in an hour I had to go through the embarrassment.
After this rejection, my father took the bike and I sat behind him. As we were passing by I saw everyone looking at me and that was the moment when I felt insulted. The unknown eyes were poking my heart. I felt as if they were screaming and laughing at my failure. As if they were telling me such an easy task, also I could not do it. For the first time, I was bleeding from within. That was the moment when I got the loser tag. I had become a loser.
As soon as I reached home I went straight to my room & locked myself. That day I cried a lot. I decided I will not touch my bike again. I do not want to learn anything new now onwards.
And One day passed
One week passed
One month also passed, but I didn’t see my bike. Those eyes and the despised laughs were still haunting me.
“Beta, What happened if you have failed once. Everyone fails at some point in their life. This does not mean that they stop learning. They try and do it till they succeed. Don’t give up so soon. You too try until you succeed. Don’t be afraid. Learn to face your fear, My good beta,” my mother tried to convince me.
I was convinced and understood what my mother wanted to tell me. I can’t give up so easily. I need to try again, but this time with lots of practice.
I was distressed and looking for a helping hand.
It is said if you want something from your heart, then the whole universe tries to make it happen to you..
Yes, it’s true. God sent a friend of mine to help me. My schoolmate. I guess I met him approximately after 8 years.
I shared my whole story with him and the next moment he expressed to help me.
The next day, we started with training.
I still remember every morning at 5:00, I used to wake up, put my jacket on, and take my bike out for training.
Slowly, with constant practice, within one month I was able to make a figure 8. Gradually I was becoming better day by day. I had gained confidence that now I was ready for another trial.
On 4th Nov 2020 at 4:00 pm, the day before my exam date. As usual, I was practicing with my full concentration; did not look at my surrounding or notice them. When I heard a female voice.
“Hey, Girl don’t you worry, you are amazing. You will clear it.”
This booming voice interrupted me. I did not notice who said it or who all passed by me. But this one voice boosted my confidence.
The next day I was a different person. With full of confidence, like a warrior ready to face any challenge.
On the day of my second trial, as per my habitual practice, I was mapping down my plans. At what angle should I take a turn, or what should be my speed. But!!!, I guess the RTO officer had already sensed my plans. And he changed the question paper. Now instead of the plain road, he asked me to make figure 8 on an uneven road, which was out of the syllabus for me. I had never practiced riding a bike on uneven roads.
“My bad, I guess today also history will repeat,” I whimpered.
Now it was my turn. I didn’t know how I would do it. I was nervous, but instead of getting panicked, I relaxed, and took a long breath.
I started my bike, focused on the road, and within a moment I saw myself making figure 8. That moment was so precious to me. I was happy and laughing merrily. I had cleared the exam & now I am going to get my license. Somewhere I had conquered my fear of failure.
This day had become one of the happiest and memorable days of my life.
Do you know, how did I do it? It was with constant practice I was able to make a strong base. My practice helped me balance my bike and it had also boosted my confidence.
Today I just wanted to tell each and every one of you that just don’t give up. If you ever feel like giving up, instead, take a small break, come up with new energy, and try again. I am sure you will achieve what you desire.
